Whether you prefer off-color vampire jokes to Taylor Swift's "bad blood" or puns and word plays about kids, these hilarious Halloween jokes are sure to make you -- and the people you share them with -- giggle.
![Halloween](https://cdn.shopifycdn.net/s/files/1/0270/2193/4690/files/1_6d8ad80d-38cb-4d76-9cea-e2289a02e4b0_480x480.png?v=1634697685)
- How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
- What can you catch from a vampire in winter? Frostbite.
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom? He had nobody to go with.
- What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal? Rice Creepies.
- What’s it like being kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
- Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation? The Dead Sea!
- Why did the skeleton climb up the tree? Because a dog was after his bones!
- What do you call a fat pumpkin? A pumpkin.
![pumpkin](https://cdn.shopifycdn.net/s/files/1/0270/2193/4690/files/2_93c0af30-0e5a-41d4-b6f1-f4f151c0cc30_480x480.png?v=1634697740)
- Why are ghosts so bad at telling lies? Because you can see right through them.
- Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day-scare.
- What do you call two witches sharing an apartment? Broommates.
- What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A sax-a-bone.
- Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend!
- Wanna know why skeletons are so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
- Why didn’t the zombie go to school? He felt rotten!
- The skeleton canceled the gallery showing of his skull-pictures because his heart wasn’t in it.
- What did one thirsty vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue? Let’s stop in for a cool one!
- What is a vampire’s pet peeve? A Tourniquet!
- Where do ghosts like to trick-or-treat? Dead ends.
- Who do monsters buy cookies from? Ghoul scouts.
- Why do Jack-o-lanterns have wicked smiles? Because they just had their brains scooped out!
![trick-or-treaters](https://cdn.shopifycdn.net/s/files/1/0270/2193/4690/files/3_5af96ba2-9b3d-4d40-8f81-e6fc20a8657c_480x480.png?v=1634697848)
- What Halloween candy should you give trick-or-theaters if you want them to think you’re rich? A 100-grand candy bar
- What do demons eat for breakfast? Deviled eggs.
- Why did the werewolf go to the dressing room when he saw the full moon? He needed to change.
- What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-taurine.
- Why do ghosts like to hang out at bars? Because of all of the Boos.
- Why do ghosts hate when it rains on Halloween? It dampens their spirits.
- What kind of monster is the best dancer? The boogieman.
- How do monsters like their eggs? Terror-fried.
- Who are the werewolf’s cousins? The what-wolf and then when-wolf.
![wolf](https://cdn.shopifycdn.net/s/files/1/0270/2193/4690/files/4_72730738-e36d-4b36-b5b0-03af99125f0e_480x480.png?v=1634697892)
- What do witches use on their hair? Scare-spray.
- The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it? A coffin.
- Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
- What do female ghosts use to do their makeup? Vanishing Cream!
- Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank.
- Did you hear about the chopper that crashed in the cemetery? Search and rescue workers have recovered 100 bodies and expect that number to climb as digging continues.